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Health Balance



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Wake Up With


Go To Bed With


Learn To Live Fit.

– unknown

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The only way to deal

with an unfree world

is to become so absolutely free

that your very existence

is an act of rebellion.

– Albert Camus

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4/23 Letter To My Facebook Supporters.

I am looking for support on a specific goal. I, like others, struggle with motivating themselves to make their body the realistic way they want it. I have been watching episodes of MTV’s “I Used To Be Fat.” I don’t have the money to not work or go to school and devote 4-6 hours everyday to varied fitness pursuits. The weight these kids lose, under the direction of a certified personal trainer, is often ludicrous.

I am in month 2 of making changes in my life. I have been advised to change one thing at a time for a month, before going onto another step. Personal motivation is an Achilles heel. I keep looking for people to work out with. Supporting one another my work out partners and I could achieve more than the sum of or individual efforts. One of the guys here suggested P90X. The benefits of these changes are obvious in improved health and more energy, stamina, and strength. The self accountability has not been enough so far.

Does anyone know of any baby steps I can try until I get myself to personal motivation and accountability? I am 248 – 5’8″, almost double what I was at Graduation. It would be nice to lose 100 pounds by College Graduation in Early May 2014. Goals 1) – 245 pounds / 2) 239 pounds/ 3) 229 pounds. In December 2000 I got myself down to 209 pounds. I had been about 225 prior to that. I have since rebounded back up and even higher. Success is motivational. The work will have to come to make the first new success and start of the cycle of achievement and pride. I reach out to my friends for your help.



4/23 Therapy Thoughts

I have always had a little bit of a creative side to myself.  Unfortunately I often lose the motivation when my illnesses flare up.  The motivation just speeds off like a speed racer in the desert going 180 mph.  I have been struck with the bug to do something to help keep myself busy.  I went to a craft store and looked at acrylic paints on Saturday while I was waiting for my son to do some testing.  I have large rolls of white and dark canary colored paper, but I just couldn’t settle on a few brushes and maybe 10 paints.  I didn’t know what to choose.

I have had a loom to make hot pads and table place mats for many years.  I know the items made with yarn would be decorative and bring smiles to people’s faces.  I could find people who could use the items and then make them in colors that would match their kitchen/dining room decor.  I have the $50 loom set from about 10 years ago.  I should probably try to set the kit and have some spending money for medications and  therapy visits,

What if making things gave me some needed therapy.  The colors would excite the mind.  The action who get blood pumping in my body.  Helping others would bring me joy.  The trouble is: where can I get unwanted/unused/leftover skeins of yarn?  I don’t have the money for such an endeavor.  paints would have cost me 45.    Skeins of yard are $4-5 each and I would need different colors to satisfy the colorings of the homes of those I could make these crafts for.

Am I crazy?  Does someone want to buy the unused kit?  Where can I find or solicit skeins of yarn?  My thought seems solid.  Help others and I can bring calmness and happiness to the surface of my own life.  Are there any flaws in my thinking?  Is the economy too tight that the crafts I seek to make for my own therapy are beyond basic needs for people?  Are there no outlets for the sort of resources I am asking for?

The only thing selfish I see in this plan is to find the happiness inside myself so that  I can live better.  My goal would benefit others.  Happiness is a good thing around the world right?  I await your insights, comments, suggestions, experiences, and thoughtful guidance.

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– unknown

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Tentative Tuesday 4/3/12

Back from my block walk with Matt.  Even though we walked an hour later I felt chilly.  Heart rhythm seems more normal so far today.  I am starting to notice a little energy.  Maybe resting, maybe exercise, perhaps combination.  Still 15 minutes walking.  I feel a little less depressed today as the day starts.

I managed to get in to see my doctor on a same day appointment yesterday.  My Blood Pressure was a little higher than usual (130/90 – nurse, 125/80 – doctor).  We did an in office EKG test. About 10 wires linked to the body and then about 60 seconds for a report to generate.  Very simple.  No need to be  scared if you have one done.  He said it was “normal”.  Whatever that really means.  He ordered some blood tests, specifically mentioning thyroid.  He agreed that the feelings I have seem different from a panic attack in my history.

His office is close so I walked over and then back.  I am not feeling as winded by these travels as I have been. I am 5’8″ 248# so yes weight loss is advised.  I rested up then made some Creamy Broccoli Tuna Help with added frozen vegetables.

I road the bus downtown and walked 5 blocks to a NAMI (National Alliance of Mental Illness) support group meting.  I was reasonably nervous/anxious upon entering.  The people were open and friendly.  I had been referred to someone local by a friend from out of state.  I knew 2 of the group members from my friend’s visit last year.  About half way (45 min) in to the meeting I felt a rapid onset of panic/anxiety symptoms.  I know of no trigger.  I took a Clonopin and water.  I specially monitored my breathing, quietly breathing deeper.  I tried using some Mindful Meditation with my eyes open so I would stay connected with the 10 other people present and what they were sharing.

I felt safe upon leaving and was heading to the bus when I was offered a ride.  I politely and gladly accepted.  Though I felt I was safe enough to travel, it was good for me to accept an offer of help, especially at 9 pm, to get home.  I had a little more dinner and reclined back for a little tv watching.

I took only 1 Clonopin this morning (usually 2).  I want to see how I manage and if I need 2 to get started on the morning, especially now that I have started walking daily.  I am still taking omega-3 gelcaps.  I think I shall have an apple, cover with a light blanket, and watch a little tv.

I am proud that I am making local connections that can be a safety net.  Make it w a great day for your yourself.  Smile and share the smile with the world. At least make yourself laugh and if the opportunity arises, give laughter to a stranger, friend, or family member today.

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